Category: Full Shows

Honest to goodness, this version of Nuclear Apocalypse Fear is worse than anything in the Cold War. And it’s horrifyingly real. RFKJr gets busted for making up AI studies to support abstinence-only. Will these stupid ideas never go away? MAGAT ranchers thrilled to get to butcher their own cattle . . . and make people sick. 

Morans everywhere! Cankles Caligula sends the Pentagon scrambling after his dementia convinces him (and, of course, Natalie) that he attacked Khard Island. SCOTUS lets him keep building his ballroom. Laws? They don’t need no stinkin’ laws! Sammy Bad Breath Alito is as crooked as a dog’s hind leg and it’s all in print. A tale of two ICE abductions. 

Take a breath and enjoy the weekend. 

But first, Friday! ICE still torturing, Nero still Nit-witting, MAGATS still-preying-on-the-dead.

I hate it when the MAGAT Media crowns a new boogie-man: Haaaaaaaasan CHOP Piker. Who tf does he think he is, Kemal atta-Dweeb?

I can still remember chatting with his uncle at a DC bar, We were both there on the same nickel. He was as interesting as a gently stewed stalk of celery.

Apparently, it’s a family trait.

This Reaper 2nd Class is a real screw-up, This time, the order was “Take the octogenarian war criminal.” Swing-and-a-miss on that, too. He’s never gonna earn his sickle at this rate. And then, in the land of the living, there’s Ricky Schroeder. What a monumental ASS. 

Do we really believe the Head Spook went to Mother Russia to warn his Spook Counterpart not to invade a NATO country? How does that make any sense? 

Cankles Caligula goes on (another) renaming binge. Over in THE Buckeye State, Amy Acton’s gone MAGA-Lite while a hundred thousand Ohioans have lost healthcare thanks the MAGATs. 

Grim Reaper goes Oh-for-2 on getting the right 80 y/o. RIP, Tim Curry. What a talent! And oh, that baritone! 

Lest we forget, the ICE goons are still out there, violating the law, trashing the Constitution, abducting and tormenting ordinary people minding their own business. 

Their must be an accounting and a reckoning. 

Heart. Broken. Too, also: a certain fury.

Now Dolly lives in every memory of her. 

An Epstein bombshell exploded over the weekend. I’ve been waiting for the shockwaves. In a just world, Todd Blanche and JoJo Blondi would be getting measured for their prison togs. 

Hakeem Jefferies (presumably unintentionally) shone a ginormous spotlight on the basic incestuous problem in high level politics. In what world is the Dem Minority Leader swanning around with a vulgar, fascist pustule like Jared Kushner a good idea? Who told him it would be? 

No surprise, but guess what! The MAGATS torment animals. And RFK is a literal quack.

The anti-Flock insurgency grows, alongside the national loathing for data centers. Monkey-up DeKlantis outs child sexual abuse victim. MAGAT Whor, er, White House leaps to the defense of AI porn. Because of course. 

In the midst of all the madness, I thought an explainer might be in order as to why I call it “Cankles Caligula.”

Is every MAGAT in a position of power a disgusting predator? TW/CW Exhibit 9274138275925: Mike Caruso, until recently a dear ally of Monkey Up DeKlantis. Fox ex-Marine trashes sailors aboard the Lincoln. News of another broken down warship. White supremacist was the driving force behind a young academic’s recent suicide. 

Flood waters rage across the place I love and call home. My grandmother built on high ground. I was addled. Sorry.

Regardless, the world descends into madness.

There’s an awesome challenge on the table. We need only $400 to turn into $1500 and keep the community going for another month. Can you help?

More MAGAT rats off the sinking ship. Between the coke nose-wipes and the flailing arms, the DUI Hire needs a drug test. Nitwit Nero says sailors aboard the Lincoln haven’t been at sea long enough. That stinking coward would sh, (never mind: redundant) if he had to serve aboard any warship. MAGATS leave a children’s cancer fundraiser at Maga Loco (shame on you, St. Jude’s) to go to a strip joint and play “hot potato” with a sex toy. 

An epic three-hour FiliRoxster!

OMG, grumpy Grampy MAGAT is back on the steam catapults . . . even as AMERICAN SAILORS are trying to kill themselves just to get away from hell-on-earth aboard one of the gems (germs?) of the fleet. Never mind the sailors. Daddy wants to rip the guts out of the Ford to install technology we used in WW II. That high-pitched distant sound on the wind that you hear? That’s Trump’s handler, Pooty, giggling in pure glee. 

Karoline “Real Poo-Poo” Leavitt deciding to bounce because Marcus Whorelius left her as missile fodder in favor of his Diaper Nanny rather pales in comparison. Still, it was enough to make her bail.

Murder victims have a way of outing their truth. be it a half-century ago or a year. Karoline “Real Poo-Poo” Leavitt suddenly calls it quits, even with Orange Julius Geezer begging her to stay. Shocking news about new equipment for the ICE goons, $20M worth. Patriot shouts down an ICE goon in Virginia. Whalehead Deadbear Raccoon Penis Brainworm-Lamprey moves forward in his MAHA(hahahahahaha) crusade against “ultra-processed food,” but no one even knows what the phrase means.  

Nitwit Nero uses Press Corps as assassination decoys. Anti-vaxxer idiots refuse transfusions of “vaccinated blood.” Young incels adopt “looksmaxxing” and screw up their faces. Ken Paxton can’t even do a phone conference without having his slimy past thrown in his face. Max Miller agrees people should keep their sisters/daughters/female friends away from him.

How pathetic are the Manly Magat Men Of Maximum Masculinity? Thinketh they their excrement literally smelleth not foul. Yet, their befouled Daddy wrinkleth the nose of ye Almighty even as he doth slumber. Nitit Nero tries to go low on Abdul Sayed, and discovers he doesn’t play that “we go high” game. He cuts Cankles Caligula off at the knees and kicks his orange ass for being short. 

Todd Blanche gets confirmed “in the dead still and dark of night,” immediately gets hailed before a Federal Judge with the rising of the sun. 

Handy Smurf has boy problems. HER boy. HIS felony problems. 

Sen Bill Cassidy adds further shame and infamy to his name.

His Epstein Filter is even more degraded as Cankles Caligula’s worsening dementia vomits out a new vulgarity. 

Circuit Court kiboshes the ballroom and calls Nitwit Nero a “tenant” and sends him into his latest tirade. 

Ol’ Serpent Head continues to shed relevance as he throws another hissy over “Socialists.”

JuiceBox Jeanine is dangling by the thinnest of threads.  

At least five MAGAT senators have demanded that Max”-imum T” Miller quit the House over allegations of his ‘roided up abuse of his wife and daughter. Know what’s weird (or maybe not, because reasons)? An actual ordained Southern Baptist Minister (Moses Mike Johnson) HASN’T. 

Someone wrote a “statement” that Moscow Mitch has gone home. Who knew His Satanic Majesty had a PR Department. Wait. He has ALL the PR people. 

The palm of the Goddess of Irony’s hand is nowhere anyone wants to be, but look! There’s Jimmie Dick or Jaydee or whatever the VP is calling themself these days. 

Crises on the high seas. And surprise! They’re both brought to us by the Dimwit Donnie Derpdustrial Complex. 
Humiliation in the offing in two separate federal courtrooms for Nitwit Nero’s bottom-of-the-pickle-barrel pettifoggers. Victory in Michigan and Mike Rogers thinks all those Browns look alike.