Category: Full Shows

Crises on the high seas. And surprise! They’re both brought to us by the Dimwit Donnie Derpdustrial Complex. 
Humiliation in the offing in two separate federal courtrooms for Nitwit Nero’s bottom-of-the-pickle-barrel pettifoggers. Victory in Michigan and Mike Rogers thinks all those Browns look alike. 

As of this writing, the clock is ticking yet again. This time, the bell tolls for Max Miller and his political ambitions. He has until 11;59:59 pm EDT of 4 August 2026 to quit his campaign; but Orange Daddy didn’t tell him to quit, so . . . 

Oh, and the cowardly perfidy of a MAGAT scorned proves once again proves disgustingly resilient. Todd Blanchey makes it out of Senate Judiciary.  

It’s Magic Moscow Mitch Day and still no sign of life. Gov. Andy Beshear’s patience is wearing thin at the disrespect. Nitwit Nero, after four hours of “Executive Time” (when they medicate him to something resembling functionality), does Dementia Storytime in a hissy over JuiceBox Jeanine’s decision to save her law license by dismissing the entirely Trumped-up reflecting pool scam. Along the way, he confesses that he was the twit who came up with using a fragile pool liner. Vivek may be headed for defeat as MAGATS go all to pieces in Duhio. 

TGIF (?!) 

Whaddaya reckon Juice Box Jeanine is doing atm? 

Data Centers 

Discuss.

Pay No Mind To The Banner At The Top Of The HORN Webpage

Petey Becomes A Name For Being Put Upon (get that man a year’s supply of “Albatross: The Cursed Treat”

A MAGAT Scorned: Cornholio Twists the Screw

Whyhio? Why? Why Do You Want To Be Talabama?

 

We do pack SO very much into three hours*.  

 

Did you know that of the precious few three-hour progressive talk programs that remain on commercial radio, each hour only has forty or fewer minutes per hour of genuine content?

The H.O.R.N.? Three hours is THREE hours. 

 

Meet the new pissant, same as the old pissant. Rand Paul brings his new McCarthyism to a senate hearing. At this point, Dr. Fauci should get a protective order for stalking against the Liberturdian Opfamologist. Nappy Napoleon rages because he’s too stupid to get out of the war he started as Iran slowly turns the screws. Todd Blanche’s nomination needs more proof of life than Moscow Mitch. 

Lady G gets his send-off to his long home in the dirt. Cankles Caligula, of course, damned him with faint praise, then promptly went nappy-bye. Moscow Mitch, on the other hand, remains Schrodinger’s Senator. The pogrom against Haitian people begins. Haitian people will suffer the most, but there’s a knock-on effect that may likely hit MAGATS, as well as decent people.  

The panic over Epstein grows. . . 

The week comes to an unmerciful close. TW/CW: MAGATS and their ditch-dwellers are capable of unspeakably disgusting behavior. 

When MAGAT groups get the data, but not the conclusion. Nitwit Nero fumbles in Mayretta, Georgia and everyone saw his even-more-rotten hand. MAGAT Congresscreeps run from questions about one of Cankles Caligula’s endorsed candidates. A disgusting new trend emerges at Dollar tree. Todd Blanche’s bootlick gets a drubbing in Federal Court. 

Tech issues again  this evening. Oof. 
Whiskey Pete gets hammered under cross examination by Jon Ossoff in the Senate. Mike Waltz, using the same talking points, gets the same treatment in the House. 

Another MAGAT pedophile gets busted . . . and your ‘umble ‘ostess actually knows him and called it years ago. 

“Welcome aboard Flight 666 bound straight for Hell! We’ll now begin showing IDs to vote.”  

“Welcome to Olive Garden! May I see your Voter I.D.?” 

Insane.

Creeps. Of almost every stripe. MAGAT sexual predators. MAGAT self-hating women. Joann Rowling. And of course, the Creep-In-Chief, itself.

On the way out the door, Russell Vought finally heard words he’s needed to hear ages ago. ICE goon outed by his ex-wife for murdering an innocent man. Todd Blanche and his pettifoggers get busted making up legal precedents. Dem Ohio Gov nominee shoots herself in the foot . . . with Democrats.

Todd Blanche goes to Capitol Hill . . . and faceplants. “I made a big mistake,” he said of the J6 slush fund . . . and then weaseled around. It was a bad day, even worse for Jay Clayton da Turd, who humuliated himself with his bellycrawling routine. 

It’s the darnedest thing. The only thing Moscow Mitch’s “proof-of-life” is proving is that only feeble-minded MAGAT simps are falling for it. 

“For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of queens.” -Shakespeare, if the truth be told.

Lindsey Graham is dead.

Thanks, again, SCOTUS! That whole “fire-em-if-you-got-em” ruling is already yielding Federalist Society/Heritage Foundation dividends, yeah? ICE goons murder again . . . and try to abduct the witnesses out-of-country. Nitwit Nero doesn’t understand that not signing a bill means IT BECOMES LAW. I’faith, we breathe the ether of the Moronosphere. 

Oddly enough, I mentioned Generalissmo Fracisco Franco, who is still dead. OTOH, Moscow Mitch is become Schrödinger’s Senator: both dead and alive at the same time until someone opens the box/hospital room/sliding drawer in the hospital morgue. 

Have an AWESOME Weekend. 

Like we always say: So far ahead of the curve it’s like we’re on straight road. Hi, Jehosaphat!

We tried to tell you it wasn’t about trans people in the military. That, as in 1933, was just the starting point. Whiskey Pete won’t quit until he has a racially “pure” all-white military. Now it’s the Navy’s turn. internecine bickering erupts in the MAGAT-o-sphere over Dead Charlie. WineBox Jeanine’s pettifoggers had an embarrassing day in court. Nitwit Nero’s out $5M + interest. 

We.Are.Impervious! Been raining all day, but the roof is tarped.
And, Do Jesus, Dill Harris, but what a day! Nitwit Nero on the loose in NATO. Graham Platner’s campaign corkscrews into the dirt. And then, and thennnnnn . . . a new birth of crazy.