Category: Full Shows

An embarrassment of titanic MAGAT brain power on display in D.C. today as the Dipshit Twins, Whiskey Pete and J. Edgar Boozer went to the hill and got their assets handed to them. Marge trots the globe and Laura Looney is green with envy (or maybe she’s just green). Nitwit Nero tells the truth for a change as he dashes off to China to sell us out. 

We continue to battle the most profound funding deficit we’ve ever known. Twlve days into May and April isn’t even fully funded. Can you help?

She’s OK and America ain’t.

A gentle reminder: this ginormous shitstorm is less than four months old. Hold fast, Horndanistx! We’re losing a wat we should never have started and these goons are ignoring a disease that kills 40% of the people who get it. The “Thank god for Ivermectin” posts are already proliferating. The MAGATS are playing Calvin Ball all over the Confederacy, proving that the Union really didn’t burn enough sense into ’em. Heads-Up: As I predicted, the y next talking point is “why Dems gerrymander Vermont?” No. Really, They’re that damned dumb.

In memoriam for R.E. “Ted” Turner, for a time, once upon a time, my boss. 

The Secretary of DHHS is an ongoing threat to humanity. I would know. RFK is a menace to society. That’s it.

Cankles Caligula confesses he’s turned the U.S. Navy into pirates. How long ago did I say that? Secret Service shuts down the White House because shots were fired a mile or so away in D.C. Legal expert confirms Nitwit Nero has a bunch of problems in the Cole Allen trial. Said that already, too. I swear sometimes it’s like I live in a bubble-off-plumb future. Polk County Sheriff comes nigh giggling when he takes down a J6 terrorist for trying to hire a sex worker. Kudos for showing his pic with Julius Geezer.

The week ends as May begins and the madness continues. It must be a living hell trying to serve as Julius Geezer’s lawyer. The criminal case against James Comey will be an absolute clown show IF it makes it to trial. The “86” business from the mentally deficient occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue alone will be insanity for the ages. Meanwhile, a MAGA influencer comes in from the cold and she comes in with receipts.  

Whiskey Pete goes to the Senate. It wasn’t pretty, but at least he didn’t projectile vomit on the table. 

A listner remarked to me after I closed the show that my conversations with David in Oregon are “Masters-level information.” What we do here is unlike any other broadcast. 

Godamighty, but they’re a loathsome lot. A servile broadcast 4th Estate refuses to do its job. Only comedians can tell the truth, and the dictator’s concubine calls for his head, after which the Kuckold Kaiser follows suit. They’re at war with poor people, disabled people, and allllllll the queers. He wants his godforsaken mug on passports and the money. HOw much can one Republic stand?

LIHOP or MIHOP? Me, I’m a LIHOPper. No way a guy goes swanning around D.C. with a shotgun and no one notices. The reactions afterward were even more stupid. 

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is a goddamned crook. 

Nitwit Nero naps (again) during cabinet meeting . . . now with a drooping mouth! Ousted Navy Secretary sacked because he couldn’t get a bunch of battleships built by 2028 (hint: no one could). The Man Who Looks Like Rancid Hot Dog Water smells is in a full-on panic. Speaking of panic, Jumbo Justice has the flop sweats since his $300 loan got called. 

Y’all, this is the toughest month The HORN has ever faced. We’re $5,000 in the hole and that makes creating independent, commercial-free, non-capitalist radio extremely difficult. I hear from so many people who tell me what this program means to them. If you can, please consider chipping in to help keep this all going.

Sorry about yesterday, but . . . 

Today was still even weirder still.

We don’t have a Secretary of the Navy when the Navy is committing piracy on the High Seas? Poor Admirals Halsey and Nimitz and the rest, their names besmirched by a gang of pusillanimous salute-snappers. 

CW/TW: the repulsive world of “Motherless” and “Zzz.”

Incel creep is scaring the MAGAT “intelligentsia.” Chuckles Kirk’s pitiful replacement wants to secede Northern Virginia. Trash Patel’s pettifogger files suit against The Atlantic. Nitwit Nero threatens Iran again/some more as the United States Navy commits (more) piracy on the high seas for Orange Julius.

In the wake of JesusGate, MAGATS begin to question whether they’ve elevated the Antichrist. Twenty MAGATS tell Julius Geezer to pound sand in FISA vote. More from RFK’s really bad, awful, no-good day. PsychoBibi thumbs his nose at Cankles Caligula and takes the starch out Nitwit Nero’s “deal’ with Iran. Sen. Tammy Duckworth hammers President Bonespurs in a truly epic jeremiad from the well of the Senate.

It’s a Catholic pile-on! When the bishops and the best minds of the Roman Catholic world call you out . . . Jaydee, you’re beggin’ for excommunicatin’. I wouldn’t want to be met by Augustine of Hippo at the gates, son. Bad sign. 

P.S. Bobby Kennedy is f’in WEIRD. 

The world begins to coalesce against the Dummy in D.C. Project 2025 architect tries to “But Biden” in a House committee hearing. PsychoBibi says Israel will murder anyone they want. Jimmie Dick Bowman confesses the U.S. is committing economic terrorism against Iran. Bill of Impeachment introduced against WhiskeyPete Kegbreath.

Thanks to everyone commenting on the podcast! It makes a difference.

We’re $2,200 behind in funding for April. Your help keep this independent broadcast on the air.

The blockade ain’t blockading. Butthurt confederates. Jimmie Dic Bowman chastises the Vicar of Christ while actual Catholic MAGATS. Pink Shrek is shocked, shocked, I tell you, that his Orange Daddy is a blasphemous grifter. DoorDash Grandma’s story doesn’t add up.  MAGATS in disarray in NY and Wisconsin. Ron Johnson from Visconsin (he vorks in de lumbermill der) says old men need to leave young women alone, even as Cankles Caligula creepers on a young woman on his tacky golf course. 

Trump goes to war! . . . with . . . the Pope? Yup. 
Might as well. His eleventy-dimensional chess from the genius factory at the Pentagon doesn’t hold much promise. Meanwhile, raising Jeffrey Epstein from the dead didn’t work out so well with the EVILgelicals. 

But, but, but . . . no tacks on tops!