Podcast

Some days the bear gets YOU, i.e. me. This is the 40 minute podcast file I managed to get in before the internet died here at the Fabulous H.O.R.N. studios.

Epic three-hour filiRobster. The Haus of Mouse bites back at Monkey-Up DeKlantis. A little horse-trading in SCOTUS. Mayhem in Jim “Jacket Off” Jordan’s committee. 

PETA has re-written part of Genesis and what a hoot it is. SCOTUS, under intense scrutiny, gets a couple of things right. Blind hog . . . acorn. Sen. Foghorn Leghorn of Louisianastan gets schooled. Marginal Trailer Queen does, too . . . and laughed at. Monkey-Up DeKlantis has a baaaaad night. The F.A.R.T.s are butthurt again. So is Klannie Grannie.

Sometimes the upload doesn’t “take,” for reasons I don’t understand. Let’s try again, because this was another content-rich episode. What if there was an actual way to predict genocide, or see it happening in real time?

John Durham offers up a nice, thick nothingburger. Cue the “Law & Order” theme: “Dum-dum!” Cornpone Comer and Marginal Trailer Queen have lost their super double plus secret probation informant against President Biden. Play it again! “Dum-dum!” Ghouly Roody is a perv (and a viagra-chomping drunk) according to a new lawsuit. But there’s more. SO much more. Former endorser regrets signing a recommendation letter for the Handmaid. 

Week’s end. But the conversation continues! 

Like an adipose, waddling train wreck, it’s impossible not to discuss CNN’s shameful display of venal fecklessness in platforming Nitwit Nero. Fappy Thomas signs off on ditching a federal bribery statute. A unanimous SCOTUS decision extends a modicum of mercy to a Guatemalan woman. 

Sorry to be so dire. This little long-running conversation is at an existential crossroads. Nonetheless, what a show! 

Donald J. Trump is a sexual predator. So says a NY federal trial jury. Wednesday in New Hampshire should be . . . interesting. Greg Assbot faces pushback on his refusal to a damned thing about his state’s gun violence crisis. Megyn “White Santa” Kelly wants you to shut up about guns. MonkeyUp DeKlantis finds a new target. Testicle Toasting Tuckyo Rose Carlson finds a new platform (HINT: I predicted it). Alex Jones gets a call from Tuckyo Rose. 

 

We have two days to satisfy Appalachian Power’s coal-fried extortion demand. They want more than $700. Without it, there will be no show starting Thursday. I wish I was kidding. I’m not. This is the awful part of being independent and non-commercial. If you’re able, Please help keep the conversation going. Please.

Sweet, bleeding Jesus, but this grows wearying. A Nazi incel slaughters people at a mall cuz he can’t get laid. And none, I mean NONE of the multi-millionaire ForProfit Media will go deeper than “mental health.” It tasks me! Maybe it’ll show up on my filthy morning habit in a couple of weeks. Too, also: we have a GROOMER! Curiously, neither gay, a drag queen, or trans. Feels like a clue!

Y’all, we bounce from one existential crisis to the next. The next one is breathing down my neck. Appalachian Power wants their money. A lot of money. This community survives by miracles. Human ones. If you can help keep this little miracle of a broadcast alive, please do! Thank you! 

Happy Cinco de Mayo. More tequila will be sold today in the U.S. than any other day of the year. The drip,drip, drip of graft, sleaze, and utter corruption from Fap-Fap and Gin-Gin (ft. Har-Har and Lee-Lee) continues unabated. Good. Testicle Toasting Tuckyo Rose Carlson keeps getting weirder and the suits at FockSnooz are getting scratchy about it. DiFi is coming back to the Senate . . . maybe next week.

We’re facing dire times at The H.O.R.N. We finished the week still unfunded by $250 with some horrorshow bills coming. Please help if you can. As ever, you have my eternal, undying gratitude!

NGL: I’m good at this analysis stuff. Give it a couple of days/weeks/sometimes months, and the ForProfit Media will catch up with me. Fappy. Domestic terrorism. There’s a connection. I’m gonna mention this term for the Record: “Constructive Secession.” It’s where we are. 

In the meantime, we struggle to survive, from one bill to the next.

How Tuckyo Rose finally found the tender spot in the morals of FockSnooz. Charlie Kirk auditions to replace him by defending him. TakesAss MAGAT introduces uterine clown car tax breaks. South Carolinastan wants to execute more women. Oregon MAGATS refuse to do their jobs. NRA Roulette Wheel of Death stops in Midtown Atlanta. Loyalty Oath at a MAGAT church in Floriduh. NAACP member breaks MomferLiburdy Karen’s braims. Betty White banned in Floriduh.

OK, so something happened with my audio. It’s awful at first. Then I sorted it out (without actually finding out what’s wrong). Anyway, this is a SCOTUS-heavy broadcast because our Most Puissant Dread Sovereign Supreme Catholic Majesties made it that way. It’s bad. Nasty, even. 

Newly unsafe in Gunmerica: being a pitcher warming up in the bullpen. But these here shooter weren’t lawful gun owners so don’t say that. PornHub goes patriotic. Marge goes crazy(er). SCOTUS takes aim at “the administrative state.” Dark Brandon kills at the Nerd Prom.

Well, now! How much more crooked can SCOTUS be? We have no idea how deep the graft runs. Gunplay at MAGAT meeting in PA. MTQ declares who is and isn’t a “mother.” One MAGAT mother says she’d rather see her child dead than . . .  oof. 

The return of the Manchin Whisperer. Nah, not really. I just get sick and tired of watching him screw over America. And what a choice I have in November 2024! Yuck. Meanwhile, in New Hampshire . . . Nitwit Nero grumbles about EVs raising clouds of “dirt.” No field trips to see plays for some school kids in Texas! 

The story of why I missed Tuesday’s episode. Why Tuckyo Rose really got canned. Feeedumm breaks out to the usual fatal effects in Illinois. Nitwit Nero does defamation again . . . some more. Lying is cool for Montana MAGATS; facts . . . not so much.

Testicle-toasting Tuckyo Rose Carlson, Man of Masculinity, gets the boot, probably because he got Rupey sued again . . . some more. Don Lemon got the axe at CNN, too. NBC/Comcast exec couldn’t keep his trousers zipped and he’s gone, as well. Spanish facist gets dug up and buried elsewhere because Spain has no tolerance for Fascism. Way to go, Spain! Law Enforcement fulminates and panics over a movie while actual nazis continue to plot against “our democracy.” Killer cop gets a new gig. 

The DiFi Dilemma. You’ll hear something here no one else has likely said. SCOTUS preserves the right to use Mifepristone . . . for now . . . till they can REALLY stick it to the people who need it. Fappy Thomas keeps getting dirtier and it’s getting less likely there will be any consequences. Joe-To-The-Manchin-Born sticks up for the Weaker Speaker and his vicious “plan.”