Podcast

Nitwit Nero gets rolled up and smoked by Michele Obama; doesn’t respond well . . . in other words, responds as you would expect Corona Caligula to respond. “It is what it is.”  More on the deadly oleander and the pillow hustler who wants us all to try some. FDA? What FDA? QAnon freak tries poetry. No. Just: NO. Hey, look, Ma! The Russian plot wasn’t a hoax after all! COVID Claudius writes a love note. He’s a “big fan.” 

Jesus Tok! Nitwit Nero talks to gawd. NeverTrump Republicans pine for home. Why is AOC only getting a minute when a GOP Governor is getting a speech at the Democratic (Virtual) Convention? How many ways are there for MAGATS to cheat an election? A Trump ex- plays footsie with QAnon and anti-vaxxers. Sing: “Oleanders growing outside my door . . . ” Just don’t eat the damned things, even if Ben Carson and the MyPillow creeper tell you to.

Elections, health care, and how we become boondoggled in the process of living in the U.S.A. We listen to the patter of what we should buy, what we should believe, but we seldom see what motivation is behind what’s being sold. Maybe it’s time to see what bag of goods we’re really getting with such little returns.

Another week reaches its end with a rousing Front Porch conversation around the Extraordinary Ordinary Roundtable. The treason that is Nitwit Nero’s assault on the Postal Service took the lead, but there are other issues, like sexual assault in the El Paso ICE hole, a proposed barge dock for fracking poison on the Ohio River. We learn about Nitwit Nero’s viewing habits before he became King, er, President. 

Betelgeuse! Wait. Elmbrook School District. Let’s go there instead. Or how about a Fambly Valyooz MAGAT who wants Meemaw and Peepaw dead . . . for Trump, of course. But no. Let’s go to Elmbrook. Satanic Social Distancing! Why SIX feet? Illuminati doctors! Jeeeebuss, these people. Betelgeuse! Monkey-up DeKlantis conscripts Florida schoolkids to be junior SEALs. Liz Cheney joins a long parade of dangerous Republican eliminationists. Not a surprise, really, considering Daddums shot his buddy right in the face. “We won’t give her the chance.” Betelgeuse! We take a miss on the MAGAT Shitshow. The light from Betelgeuse left a lonnnnnnnng time ago, just as the eastern hemisphere was about to be laid low. 

We have a carryover moran titanic intellect. Meet Stacy Washington who, as a “Black Voice For Trump” has declared herself the arbiter of blackness, specifically for the purpose of questioning the blackness of Kamala Harris. She, along with white supremacist leader Tucker Carlson, is apparently stymied by Senator Harris’ first name, even with a pronunciation guide to help her. Supporters of the grandson of a pimp and son of a klansman decry Harris’ alleged heritage relating to an ancestor who was a slaver owner. We check in with Nitwit Nero’s shitshow, in which he declares that “they” are invading Suburbia. He’s not even trying to hide his racism anymore, to the extent that he ever did. Florida sheriff declares himself a bioterrorist. Big 12 wants to spread COVID-19, er, have a football season. Annnnnd, since it’s 2020, why not have a salmonella outbreak necessitating a massive recall of . . . onions. Because in TrumpMurkkka, even onions are dangerous.

Vice-presidential announcements are what happen when you make other plans . . . at least if you do radio. So there I was, all ready for three hours of radio when, about forty-five minutes before airtime, the news drops that Biden finally made his choice. This then engendered a complete reconsideration of the evening. Still, there was no paucity of topics. Oh, no. Not here. Not ever. BONUS: let’s see if Podbean can actually “get” this recording. Sheesh!

Bioterrorist morans descend upon Portland and Seattle. Political and public health officials do nothing. Ted Cruz proves himself really untalented at the whole being-a-human thing . . . again. Marco Rubio follows suit with the “good news” about children getting COVID-19. GOP Senator Ron Johnson (of Wisconsin) says he wants Americans to continue suffering because money. Nitwit Nero shambles away from the podium due to a shooting nowhere near him. Woman berates cop in “Communist South Carolina” because he pulled her over for blocking her rear-window with a covidiot poster. Don’t let the MAGATS get your goat. Get your own. 

Was it a false positive or a false negative? Or a positive negative or a negative positive? Welcome to Ohio Governor Mike Dewine’s world. Nitwit Nero screws Social Security and Medicare, right out of the long time GOP playbook. See, Symptom, not Disease. Paulding County, Georgia students who alerted the world to just how BAD their school system was handling re-opening won’t be punished after all. Mississippi burning . . . again . . . only different. Jer Junior to “spend more time with his family.” Some other maniac will run FU for awhile. Careful about outing fascists. They get their fee-fees hurt terribly easily. The most senior economist in Alabama says we need a TRILLION dollars per month till next June to save our country and the economy. He wasn’t kidding. The Front Porch crew tackles it all!

P.S Donald Trump is a white supremacist. 

August 6, 1945, a day which will live in infamy . . .

Corona Caligula goes to Cleveland, misses getting exposed to the ‘Rona by *that* much. Whirlpool hosted him. I’ll never buy another Whirlpool appliance as long as I live. No way. I don’t support companies that support Trump. While there, the madness of Ding Don was on broad display. We’re being abused by “ThighLand.” People are thankful to him for fixing America’s faucets . . . and light bulbs. Joe Biden will “hurt god.” Tough times to be a second grader in Cherokee County, Georgia. Even worse if you’re a high schooler who dared to show the world what “safety” looks like at North Paulding High School. Lousy day for Wayne ThePeter and the National Ruble Association.

EVILgelical super-spreaders all over the country. Dr. Fauci, under almost constant attack from the MAGATS, says the Dondemic could get much worse in the fall if we don’t get back to less than 10000 new cases per day. The saga of Jer Junior’s skeevy pic continues . . . hee-hawing aside, he’s not convincing. Kenneth Copeland grifts the rubes at his own indoor super-spreader event. North Carolina replaces white supremacist statue with anti-Semitic statue. Yo, Semite! White-wing jackass who has “black friends” calls on white people to obtain guns by any means necessary to kill African-Americans. Dave Daubenmire incensed by John Lewis’ funeral. Moderna plans to rob us blind on vaccine costs per dose. 

Full speed ahead into the iceberg! (Including a nasty update from Microsoft that delayed the program for a half hour by erasing all my streaming credentials). Super-spreaders in the hills n’ hollers, tornadoes in New England, a massive blast in Beirut. Nitwit Nero shows off some new graphs, declares he doesn’t know if John Lewis was a great man; there were, after all, very fine people on both sides. Yo! Semites! Suddenly, mail-in ballots in Florida are cool because they’re all smarty-brains. Not like Nevada, where they just send out ballots harum-skarum.  Why are businesses so terrified to enforce masking orders?

We’re discussing the meaning of systemic racism and what effect it has on society, the electoral college and what it means to voting outcomes, as well as how the pandemic added into the mix could make this the most unprecedented election year that’s been seen in our history. Join us in the conversation!

Super-spreaders everywhere! One gospel sharp may be personally responsible for superspreader events from California, Washington, and Oregon all the way to New York City. Idiot Louie Gohmert is apparently a spreader, too. And shucks! 125,000 people larpin’ and smollickin’ and grabbalatin’ all over each other for ten days in South Dakota couldn’t POSSIBLY be a problem in a pandemic. Alex Jones is ready for war! What’s that? Hallucinogenic Zombie Drag Queen Cicadas? In West Virginia? Why not! It’s 2020, Jake. 

We began the program by saying goodbye to Congressman John Lewis. His epitaph, written in his own words, stands as testament of what his chosen course was in life, the equality of all people.  During these unprecedented times it stands to reason that we should work together in order to build a better Republic. Let’s do just that and stand together as one. 

As he eulogized John Lewis, President Obama declared that we hall have the power to be good people. Naturally, there is proof to the contrary. Naturally, it’s a gospel sharp. Naturally, he’s in the Confederacy. A new short feature from the Lincoln Project paints a downright photorealistic picture of a MAGAT family. We discuss mail-in ballots and how the Corona Caligula regime will move to stop them. Have you gotten any mysterious seeds from China? Don’t open ’em. Don’t plant ’em. Turn ’em over to your state Department of Agriculture. QAnon covidiots throw a super-spreader hissy in Hollywood. A thought experiment: What will this nation be by January 20, 2021?

“For the wages of Covidiocy is death.” Thus sayeth the Virus. Maskhole Herm Cain, having attended a MAGAT Coronapalooza Klan Rally in Tulsa, succumbs to his own ignorance. RIP, John Lewis. Why “Progressives” can’t have nice things, Part the 1469289744156: dumping on John Lewis on the day he was buried edition. To paraphrase Lady Brett in “The Sun Also Rises,” “Not being an asshole is what we have instead of god.” Many members of the Purity Patrol apparently don’t even have that. Nitwit Nero ponders a November without an election. “Quo usque tandem, Trumpo . . . ” wonders the decent part of the population of the planet. Mike Pompeo recounts the heady days of his part in the Great German War of 1987. 

 

More maskhole covidiocy from GymShorts Jordan today in the House . . . with the news that his pal Louie Asparagus Gohmert has the ‘Rona. Naturally, being an idiot, Gohmert blamed wearing a mask for his infection. His staff, though, are less certain. Jeff Bezos got called out for his predatory practices at Amazon. Nitwit Nero praises anti-mask doctor who holds some, ahem, interesting beliefs. 1400 more COVID deaths today, the most since mid-May. Anti-mask attacks in North Carolina and New York. Anti-vaxxer QAnon goon says masks hide you from gawd. My local school board decides to hold a super-spreader event. 

Racist AG Bill “Pepe the Frog” Barr got a richly deserved grilling today in the House Judiciary Committee. From vote-by-mail, to the makeup of his DoJ, to his little green goons, to his plans for an October Surprise, he danced his amphibian dance like a drop of water on a hot griddle. Also: another MAGAT affected by COVID-19 sees the light. The Road to Damascus is getting mighty crowded with MAGATS.

In an abbreviated broadcast, Dr Bill deconstructs Mike Pompeo’s wholesale misstatement of what “the pursuit of happiness” means. No one has the expertise to do that like Dr. Bill has.