Podcast

Late upload. Land hurricanes aren’t fun. But at least they’re NEW! Sorry about the gaps. 

Sorry. This time it’s about ME. Sorry.

I’ll be OK. It’ll just be a minute. 

As Warren Zevon once sang, “Disorder In the House!” It’s time for “Testicle Talk With Nancy Mace.” Sometimes we get the hero we need, and her name is Jasmine Crockett! Nitwit Nero bails on giving the closing argument in his fraud trial. Ohio MAGAT cites bible to say trans people should die. Israeli journalist tells CNN that the truth of the slaughter of Gaza isn’t getting out . . . even in Israel, and most Israelis are perfectly fine with it. Oh, and it’s Rubicon Day! How appropriate! The password is: BiscuitsnGravy Kush! 

Almost immediately after I closed the broadcast, my ISP corkscrewed into the dirt. It just came back. I’m glad, because I felt really good about how the program went, especially since I hadn’t planned on being live. I simply couldn’t miss yesterday, especially considering the monumental nature of the Immunity hearing in the DC Circuit. The cat’s officially out of the bag for Nitwit Nero. 

Leon Skum, dope fiend. Bill Ackman, racist fiend. Mrs. Ackman, academic fraud. Christopher Rufo dummies up a degree. Nitwit Nero gets dinged in U.S. Circuit Court in Manhattan. “Bibi-sitting” enters the vocabulary.

It’s Friday and Nimrata Haley is still a dumbass. She can’t address her slavery screw-up without creating another screw-up. Counsel for the parking garage says she’d rather be pretty than smart. I think she got her wish, she’s just too not-smart to realize it. Tangerine Tiberius wants to be paid for defrauding the people of New York. Israeli government officials keep saying the quiet part REALLY loudly. Remembering the day ten years ago when 300,000 West Virginians were involuntarily enrolled in a large scale study of the effects of a toxic chemical on human beings. 

Glory! Pope Frank gets tough with right-wing Catholics. Nikki Haley is still an idiot. The slaughter in the sandbox, now with more fascism daily. Alex Jones is worried about the Epstein List. 

Israeli fascists get caught saying the quiet part out loud: the Gaza afterplan is “ethnic cleansing.” The plan is being bruited by Bibi and two of his racist lieutenants, both of whom are convicted criminals. Meanwhile, the Israeli Supreme Court tries to preserve the tattered remnants of what passes for democracy there. Poland scrambles fighter jets because of Russian incursions into Polish airspace. Leon Skum throws a hissy at Green Day. Rafaelito jinxes the ‘Horns. 

Kiss 2023 an early goodbye.

Haw! “Nikki” Haley is one of the biggest GQP halfwits in recent memory, but she’s just a point on a breathtakingly stupid through-line of toxically idiotic Republikkkanz. And her fellow South Carocringian Miss Lindsey is feeling all butch again. So that’s precious.

When MAGATs say the quiet part out loud: Mullah Moses Mike says women are fleeing the GQP because they had too much education. Nitwit Nero draws ever nearer to an absolute meltdown. Even an Israeli scholar on fascism, nazism, and the Holocaust says the Israeli government has neo-nazis in it . . . and brings receipts.

Happy Holidays! Let’s get back to the hot mess that is our world. Israel bombed Bethlehem on Christmas Day. Their PR Department stinks. Pastor Munther Isaac delivers a righteous jermiad. Right-wing self-appointed culture critic loves American art. Lincoln Project compares Nitwit Nero to the stench of a garbage scow. Queen Sporkfoot gets “swatted” . . . again. I personally think the calls are coming from inside the house. 

Merry Christmas, etc. to all (all but Julis Geezer and his ilk, that is)! He got an early present when his pet crooks at SCOTUS declined to hear the case brought by Jack Smith, forcing the question of whether Orange Jeenyus is immune from prosecution. A new recording of him encouraging electors in Michigan not to certify the 2020 election could prompt further charges and perhaps even cause Ronna Romney McDaniel to catch charges. Ho, Ho, Ho! 

Some Thorny Thursdays are sillier than others. This was one. A Duke of Hazard has a grammatical and, um, romantic problem with President Biden and Hunter. Stevie Three-Shirts sounds like he’s hitting the sauce and Alan Dershowitz hears his wife calling. 

The deacons had the night off. That’s OK, though, because the Legal Department had plenty to work with. No one seems able to agree as to what our Most Puissant, Dread Sovereign Supreme Catholic Majesties will do with the Colorado Supreme Court Ruling. As ever, though, the MAGATS are more than happy to tell everyone what they WANT to do. 

Colorado Supreme Court says “NO!” to Julius Geezer on the GQP primary ballot. The ball’s in SCOTUS now. Cop rams bar with cruiser, arrests bar owner for scaring *him*. Police are apparently always “scared.” Staten Island MAGAT says her Orange God wasn’t slurring immigrants, but that Democrats are poisoning the blood of America (I don’t think her understands “blood libel.” Orange Jenius attacks prominent Texas MAGATS. Elon gets reduced to ashes by John Oliver. 

“Blood poisoning” is a medical term. It should never be a political one. Any politician who uses that language is a fascist. Even the multi-millionaire ForProfit media are figuring it out. The IDF is attacking Gaza churches during Christmastime. Julius Geezer gets roasted in court in Manhattan  . . . again. Rafaelito Cruz attacks a judicial nominee for being Muslim.  MonkeyUp doesn’t understand “the blood stuff.” MAGATS have a hissy over . . . a tap dance routine?

Rudy Ghouliani digs himself a $148 Million dollar hole. Ruby Freeman says she’s just getting started. Christian loses whatever passes for his mind and attacks a statue of a fake goat man. Comer Pyle has become a running gag. Markwayne may be a senator, but he doesn’t really know how to senator.

Comer Pyle has some shell problems of his own. Jasmine Crockett calls out MAGAT math skills. Ohio MAGATs attack kids. Georgia teacher attacks a kid. Stevie 3-shirts goes after Mullah Moses Mike Johnson over the Queeeeerz. Matt Gaetz whines as he and super masculine man of masculine masculinity Markwayne Mullins have a very public 7th grade slap fight. Joe-To-the-Manchin-Born announces a search for the “real” (real WHITE and STRAIGHT and Right(wing) Murka.

Judge Chutkan staying proceedings against Nitwit Nero isn’t the disaster some folks seem to think it is. Let’s all get off the ledge. The fraud trial of Tangerine Tiberius reaches its vulgar end. He loses again in the Second U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals . . . on an issue of immunity. Mullah Mike Moses Johnson only gets worse. Gym “Jacket Off” Jordan runs from Madge Sporkfoot.